Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates information regarding various jobs in four department like manufacturing ,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare of the income in the US from 1960 to 2020
To begin with, the manufacturing jobs had started from 15 millions then small increased by 5 million job in 1980. After that it showed declined dramatically to 12 millions jobs in 2020. in 1960, the retaiI sector provided. 6 millions job opportunity then it rose the jobs significantly from 6 millions to 15 millions in 2000. as well as it shows remain constant in 2020 was 15 .1 millions jobs.
Further more, although healthcare had showed giving more job opportunities 15.5 millions in 2020 but easy year it was 4 millions jobs then dramatically inclined . agricultural department were giving more jobs 5 millions after that it declined or remain stable in 2 millions between 1980 and 2020.
Overall: even though manufacturing gave more jobs but in last year it declined as compare to healthcare sector had significant increase in upcoming years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points, but the analysis is inconsistent. While you identify the main trends, the description of the data is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, you state manufacturing started at 15 million and increased by 5 million, which is not clearly supported by the graph's trajectory. Furthermore, the description of the healthcare sector is difficult to follow due to unclear phrasing like 'easy year it was 4 millions'. To improve, ensure you accurately interpret the data points and provide a clearer overview of the most significant trends, such as the clear shift from manufacturing to healthcare over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions like 'To begin with' and 'Further more' are used, but the internal structure of the sentences often makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the relationship between the data points is not always explicitly stated. To improve, focus on using linking words more naturally and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a smoother narrative.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'jobs' and 'millions' throughout the text. There are also several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'department' instead of 'sector' and 'inclined' used incorrectly to describe a trend. Spelling errors, such as 'retaiI' and 'as well as it shows remain constant', also detract from the clarity of the writing. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'gradual decline', and pay closer attention to accurate spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing jobs had started', 'agricultural department were giving'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with misplaced periods and commas. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect pluralisation before submitting your work.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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