Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This graph shows the four sectors of US economy including manufacturing, retail, agriculture abd healthcare. The graph illustrates the dramatic increase and decrease in US economic sector. First of all the manufacturing sector shows about 15 million jobs in 1960 and then a dramatic increase in 1980 including 20million jobs. The jobs in 2000 reduce to approximately 17 million and then in the same manner a huge decline is reached on 13 million approximately. After manufacturing the retail sector shows a drastic increase in employment opportunities as in 1960 the number of jobs in retail were about 6 million as well as 10 million in 1980 and then 15 million in 2000.It shows a huge increase in job opportunities with the passage of time. There is no decrease in job opportunities in retail sector within time.while the employment steadily increase after 2000 from 15 million to 17 million approximately till 2020.Besides manufacturing and retail the agriculture sector shows a dramatic reduction in employment opportunities as there are about 6 million jobs in 1960 then goes to about 3 million in 1980 as it remains at equilibrium till 2000 and steadily reduce to about 2 million in 2020. Finally, the healthcare sector illustrates a huge increase in job opportunities as in 1960 it has about 2 million jobs then rise to 5 million in 1980.In addition a drastic increase from 5 million to 10 million in 2000 shows a double increase in employment opportunities after that it steadily increases.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the years mentioned. However, it lacks a clear overview of the main trends, which is essential for a high band score in Task 1. The description is largely a list of figures rather than a synthesis of the data. For instance, the report mentions specific numbers for each year but fails to highlight the most significant trends, such as the shift from manufacturing/agriculture to service-based sectors like retail and healthcare. To improve, you should group the sectors by their growth or decline patterns and provide a concise summary of the overall changes at the beginning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is somewhat mechanical. You rely heavily on simple transitions like 'First of all' and 'Finally', which makes the structure feel repetitive. While there is a logical progression, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes awkward, such as the phrase 'in the same manner a huge decline is reached on 13 million'. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your sentences are connected more fluidly to show the relationship between the data points rather than just listing them sequentially.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'dramatic increase', 'drastic increase', and 'steadily increase'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'remains at equilibrium' (which is not the best fit for a declining trend) and 'a double increase'. Additionally, there are minor spelling errors like 'abd' instead of 'and'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe data, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure your spelling is accurate throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with prepositions ('on 13 million' instead of 'to 13 million') and verb tenses ('the employment steadily increase' instead of 'increased'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing spaces after periods. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that your tense usage is consistent when describing historical data. Reviewing basic sentence construction and proofreading for small errors will help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

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