Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph provides data about the number of jobs in various sectors of the economy in the

US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that retail and healthcare jobs experienced an upward trend during the period, whereas manufacturing and agriculture jobs fluctuated throughout the period.

In 1960, the number of jobs in the retail sector started at around 6 million, followed by the healthcare sector which began at 2 million. The retail sector rose dramatically at 15 million over the next four decades, and the healthcare field also increased sharply throughout the period in 2000. The retailing sector increased slightly just over 16 million, whereas the healthcare jobs jumped at over the retaining sector at 16 million.

There was a sharp rise in the manufacturing sector in the beginning of the period, whereas it plunged to around 13 million at the end of the period. However, the agriculture sector experienced a steady fall just under 4 million, and it remained stable over the next two decades. There was a marginal decrease of around one million, reaching 3 million in 2020,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends and selects key features to illustrate the data. However, there are inaccuracies in the reporting of figures. For example, stating that the retail sector 'rose dramatically at 15 million' is imprecise, and the description of the healthcare sector overtaking retail is confusingly phrased. While the main trends are identified, the lack of precision in data points and some contradictory statements regarding the timeline (e.g., 'throughout the period in 2000') limit the clarity of the summary. To improve, ensure that data points are cited accurately and that comparisons between sectors are logically structured.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'however', and 'in 1960' are used to link ideas. However, the flow within the third paragraph is somewhat mechanical, and the transition between the retail and healthcare descriptions is slightly disjointed. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'the retaining sector', which appears to be a typo for 'retail'. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent, but the use of cohesive devices could be more sophisticated to improve the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'fluctuated', and 'marginal decrease'. However, there are some errors in word choice and collocation that hinder precision, such as 'jumped at over the retaining sector' and 'the retailing sector'. Additionally, there is some repetition of 'sector' and 'period'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing, ensuring that the vocabulary used accurately reflects the data presented in the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'rose dramatically at 15 million' (should be 'to'), 'jumped at over the retaining sector', and 'in the beginning of the period' (should be 'at'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, though the final sentence ends with a comma instead of a period. The errors present do not impede communication, but they do indicate a need for more careful proofreading and better control over prepositional usage and sentence construction.

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