Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph provides data about the number of jobs in various sectors of the economy in the

US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that retail and healthcare jobs experienced an upward trend during the period, whereas employment in the manufacturing sector decreased slightly and agriculture sector fluctuated throughout the period.

In 1960, the number of jobs in the retail sector started at around 6 million, followed by the healthcare sector which began at 2 million. The retail sector rose dramatically at 15 million over the next four decades, and the healthcare field also increased sharply to over 10 million in 2000. The retailing sector increased slightly just over 16 million by 2020, whereas the healthcare jobs jumped at over the retaining sector at 16 million in 2020.

There was a sharp rise in the manufacturing sector in the beginning of the period, whereas it dipped minimally to around 13 million at the end of the period. However, the agriculture sector stood at 6 million in 1960, and it remained stable over the next two decades. There was a marginal decrease of around 4 million, reaching 2 million in 2020,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the crossover between healthcare and retail by 2020. However, some of your data reporting is slightly imprecise; for instance, stating the retail sector 'rose dramatically at 15 million' is grammatically awkward and lacks precision. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector as having a 'sharp rise' at the beginning is not fully supported by the visual evidence, which shows a more gradual increase. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data points are described with greater accuracy and that you consistently distinguish between trends and specific values.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

Your essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the information effectively. You use cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'however', and 'in addition' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by minor mechanical issues, such as the comma splice at the end of the final paragraph ('...reaching 2 million in 2020,'). While the paragraphing is appropriate, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall progression of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'marginal decrease', and 'upward trend' appropriately. There are some instances of awkward word choice, such as 'jumped at over the retaining sector', which is confusing and imprecise. Additionally, you repeat 'sector' frequently. To improve, try to use synonyms like 'industry', 'field', or 'area' to avoid repetition. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as '...whereas employment in the manufacturing sector decreased slightly and agriculture sector fluctuated...'. While you show control over basic grammar, there are several errors in preposition use and sentence structure, such as 'rose dramatically at 15 million' (should be 'to 15 million') and 'jumped at over the retaining sector'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a lack of full control over complex structures. Focusing on accurate prepositional phrases and avoiding run-on sentences or comma splices will help improve your accuracy.

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