Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

This graph illustrates the number of four types of jobs in the US economy between 1960 and 2020. During the 1960s, there were a healthy number of jobs available in the manufacturing sector - 15 million jobs. Jobs in retailing and agriculture were comparatively lower - 5 million jobs each. Healthcare had the least number of jobs in those years with a mere 2 million jobs. However, the healthcare sector has been progressing since. There were 5 million jobs in healthcare in 1980, around 11 million jobs in 2000, and around 16 million jobs in 2020. Retailers have also been increasing in number with 10 million jobs in 1980, 15 million jobs in 2000 and around 16 million jobs in 2020 holding the same position as healthcare. Although the manufacturing sector was at its peak in 1980 with 20 million jobs, it has dropped since. There were around 17 million jobs in 2000 in manufacturing, and around 13 million in 2020. The agriculture field has been doing low too. The number of jobs dropped in 1980 to around 3 million and stayed the same till 2000, but dropped slightly in 2020, with now 2 million jobs in this sector. All sectors have had its ups and downs but the retailing and healthcare sector have always displayed an increase in terms of job numbers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided data to support your points. You covered all four sectors and included a clear overview of the general trends. However, to reach a higher band, ensure your overview is more distinct—perhaps as a separate paragraph—and avoid listing data points chronologically without sufficient synthesis. For example, grouping the sectors by their growth patterns (those that increased versus those that declined) would demonstrate a more sophisticated approach to reporting the main features, rather than just describing each sector sequentially.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized, and the progression of ideas is clear. You use some cohesive devices effectively, such as 'However' and 'Although'. However, the response is written as a single block of text. To improve, you should use paragraphing to separate the introduction/overview from the body paragraphs. Additionally, some transitions feel a bit mechanical; using a wider variety of linking phrases to connect the data points would improve the flow and make the relationships between the sectors more apparent to the reader.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'healthy number of jobs' and 'at its peak' are used appropriately. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the reliance on 'jobs' and 'number of'. To improve, try to use synonyms or alternative ways to describe the data, such as 'employment figures', 'workforce', or 'positions'. Additionally, some phrasing like 'doing low' is not idiomatic; 'performing poorly' or 'experiencing a decline' would be more precise and academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your meaning is consistently clear. There are a few minor grammatical slips, such as 'All sectors have had its ups and downs' (should be 'their') and 'The agriculture field has been doing low too' (which is slightly informal). While you use some complex structures, increasing the variety of your sentence patterns—such as using more participial phrases or relative clauses—would help demonstrate better control and range. Overall, your grammar is accurate enough that it does not impede communication.

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