Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates changes in employment in four different sectors of US economy between 1960 to 2020.
The highest number of jobs were available in manufacturing sector which were fifteen millions in 1960 and this figure went up by 5 million in 1980, whereas this number went down to seventeen million in 2000 and the employment opportunities continued to decline till 2020, were it was remained only 13 millions.Moving further towards retail department in 1960 six millions job were available and this figure rose up by four million in year 1980, further the number of jobs climbed to fifteen and by the year 2020 this figure increases with minimum changes to year 2000.
However, jobs in agriculture sector tend to decline gradually over the period of time, as in 1960 the ratio was six millions which went down to three millions in 1980 and this remains constant till year 2000 but a slight decline was there in year 2020.On the Contrary side, employment in healthcare sector was growing over the period of time, starting with 1960 only three million jobs were there after two decades this number went up by two million, later after twenty year the ratio rose up to twelve and by the year 2020 it was almost sixteen million.
Overall, employment in healthcare increased significantly throughout the period, while agriculture experienced a steady decline. Manufacturing rose initially before falling, whereas retail showed an overall upward trends.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, stating manufacturing was 'fifteen millions' in 1960 and rose by 5 million to 1980 is not supported by the graph, and the description of the retail sector is confusingly phrased ('increases with minimum changes to year 2000'). While the overview is present, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. The response would benefit from more careful verification of the figures against the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for the sectors, and an overview. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'However', 'On the Contrary side', and 'Overall', but some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Moving further towards retail department'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the body paragraphs could be improved to better group the trends for better flow and readability.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'employment opportunities', 'gradually', and 'significantly'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'retail department' (should be 'retail sector'), 'ratio' (used incorrectly to refer to raw numbers), and 'On the Contrary side' (which is non-standard). The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but the lack of precision and occasional awkward phrasing limit the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this figure increases', 'were it was remained'), incorrect pluralisation ('fifteen millions'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing.
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