Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart tracks the figure of jobs in the four different fields such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare from 1960 to 2020 in the US economy.

Overall, the healthcare and retail sectors showed a significant incline in numbers throughout the period starting from roughly 0.3 and 5.2 million in 1960 to 15.2 million in 2020 respectively. In contrast, although 15 million people occupied the manufacturing jobs in 1960 but the data showed gradual decline approximately 10.8 million in 2020. Moreover, the agriculture sector experienced the fall in the numbers from about 5.2 million to 0.3 million till last year.

Firstly, there was 15 million people in manufacturing companies in 1960 which was the highest numbers as compared to the rest of the sectors and it hit a peak in the first two decades which was 20million. From 1980 to 2020, this data declined consistantly and reached at around 10.7 million at the end. Furthermore, whether the health care sector was less occupied in comparison of the other sector, around 0.3 million in the former year but this sector edged up till 2020 and showed the same number as retail which was about 15.2 million.

However, the retail sector showed the rapid growth like around 5.2 million in 1960, 10 million people in 1980 and 15 million in 2000. While just around 2 million individuals were added in last two decades as 15.2 million in 2020. On the other side in the agriculture sector, around 5.2 million people were working in 1960 and this track experienced the downward trend and reached at around 0.3 million in 1980. The data was stabled for the next two decades, then again the figure of this field decreased slowly just around 0.2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing hit a peak of 20 million, which is not supported by the data, and your description of the retail sector's growth is inconsistent with the provided figures. While you attempt to make comparisons, the lack of precision in interpreting the graph limits the effectiveness of the summary. To improve, ensure that every figure cited is carefully cross-referenced with the visual data to avoid factual errors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each focusing on specific sectors or timeframes. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast,' 'Moreover,' and 'However' to link ideas. However, the progression of information is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. For instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is slightly disjointed. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is always clear and logical.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sectors,' 'economy,' 'occupied,' and 'downward trend.' However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'the figure of jobs' instead of 'the number of jobs,' and 'the former year' which is unclear in this context. Additionally, some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'the data was stabled.' To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is used accurately to describe trends and data points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'reached at around'), subject-verb agreement errors, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'whether the health care sector was less occupied in comparison of the other sector'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence structure accuracy and refining your use of prepositions and articles will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.