Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph compures the jobs, measured in millions, in four sectors in US economies between 1960 to 2020.

Overun, it can be seen that manufacturing was the largest employer at begning of the period but decrined after peak. However, Retail and Healthcare experienced steady growth, while Agriculture showed downward trend and became a smallest categories sector by end of the period.

Commencing by anayzing the data, in 1960, Manufacturing provided around 15 million, compures with both Retail and agriculture around 6 million, while, Healthcare employed fewest people, at only 2 million. In addition in 1980, manufacturing had increasing significantly at 20 million, and reached peak during the period. However After peak the economes went to decline sharpj to 17 million in 2020. Moreover Retail rose to 10 million and Healthcare clime to 5 million in 1980. More by 2020, both economes increased and reached to 15m and 13 million.

Moving toward the rest of the sector, Healthcare experienced around 6 million. However, between 1980 to 2000 the economies remained after that, the trend decreased by 3 million. By 2000, between 2000 to 2020 the economies measured remained same and reached by around 2 million. In addition Manufacturing gradually declined to roughly 3 million in 2020. Moreover, Retail continued to rise and reached around 6 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that Healthcare employed the fewest people at 2 million in 1960, which is correct, but your later description of the trends between 1980 and 2020 is confusing and contradicts the visual data provided. You mention that Agriculture became the smallest category, yet the graph shows Agriculture declining while Healthcare and Retail grew. The summary of the data is inconsistent, which prevents a clear overview of the main trends. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurately transcribed from the graph and that your comparisons are logically consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by confusing transitions and unclear referencing. Phrases like 'Commencing by anayzing the data' and 'Moving toward the rest of the sector' are used, but the subsequent information does not always follow logically. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as using 'economies' to refer to job sectors, which creates confusion. The paragraphing is present but does not effectively group related information, leading to a disjointed reading experience. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring clear topic sentences would significantly enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent errors in word choice, such as using 'economies' instead of 'sectors' or 'categories'. Spelling errors are also prevalent, including 'compures' (compares), 'Overun' (Overall), 'begning' (beginning), and 'clime' (climbed). These errors occasionally impede communication, as the reader must work to interpret the intended meaning. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using sector-specific terminology correctly and proofreading for basic spelling and collocation errors. Expanding your range of verbs to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'plateaued', would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response relies on a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but these are marred by frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing had increasing'), incorrect verb tenses ('economies went to decline'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally discernible, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the text from reaching a higher band. Focusing on consistent verb tenses when describing past data and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve the accuracy of your writing.

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