Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph below illustrates the number of job opportunities in four different areas of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Units were given in millions.

Overall , Majority of jobs were available in the manufacturing sector in the beginning of the period which experienced significant decline over the end of the period .In contrast, least number of jobs were available in the agriculture sector.

In the year 1960, there were 15 million vacancies in the manufacturing department followed by the retail market at the rate of approximately 6 million. which has increased suddenly to 20 million in the manufacture field which was the doubled about of openings in the retail in the year 1980 .Moreover , manufacture sector experienced a sharp decline in the year 2020 from 20million to 9 million.

In contrast, In the year 1960, an employment rate was the least in the healthcare sector accounted for 2 million only which rose dramatically 10 times more in the year 2000 at the rate of 12 million and 14 million in 2020 respectively. However the retail industry provided job opportunities from 6 million to 14 million over the given period of the time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally confusing. For example, the description of the manufacturing sector in 1980 is unclear, and the statement about the healthcare sector rising '10 times more' is mathematically inaccurate based on the provided figures. While the overview is present, it lacks precision. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited accurately and that the comparison between sectors is more clearly articulated throughout the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or awkward, such as the repetitive use of 'In the year 1960' and 'in the year 2020'. The transition between sentences is occasionally abrupt, and the referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the connection between the healthcare and retail sectors feels disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance the flow of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'manufacture field' instead of 'manufacturing sector' and 'employment rate was the least' when referring to the number of jobs. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology related to trends and economic sectors, and ensure collocations are natural and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect article usage ('the manufacturing department'), subject-verb agreement errors, and awkward phrasing ('which was the doubled about of openings'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and sentence structure would be highly beneficial.

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