Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four distinctive sectors namely manufacturing ,retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.The figures are given in millions.
Considering from an overall perspective, employment in manufacturing and agriculture declined towards the end of the period, whereas retail and healthcare experienced considerable growth. Manufacturing had the highest number of jobs for most of the period ,but healthcare and retail overtook it by 2020.
To initiate with, in 1960 manufacturing employed approximately 15 million people, compared with around 6 million in retail and
agriculture. Healthcare had the lowest figure, at about 2 million. Moreover , manufactuirng employment the rose sharply to nearly 20 million in 1980,before falling gradually to around 11 million in 2020.
By contrast, retail employment soared steadily from approximately 6 million in 1960 to about 14 million in 2000.Whereas, healthcare also grew significantly ,reaching around 4 million in 1980 and 10 million in 2000,before rising to 14 million in 2020.Whilst, agriculture followed the opposite trend, declining from about 6 million jobs in 1960 to almost zero by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and providing relevant data points to support the summary. You successfully highlighted the key shifts, such as the decline in agriculture and manufacturing versus the growth in healthcare and retail. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the overall trends. To reach a higher band, ensure that all comparisons are fully integrated; for instance, while you mention the sectors, a more explicit comparison of the relative scale of change between the sectors would strengthen the analysis. Overall, the response is well-focused and covers all requirements of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group information effectively by sector trends. Cohesive devices such as 'To initiate with', 'By contrast', and 'Whereas' are used to guide the reader through the data. However, there are some minor issues with punctuation and spacing, such as the lack of spaces after commas and periods (e.g., 'manufacturing ,retail'). Improving the mechanical accuracy of your cohesive devices and ensuring consistent paragraphing will help the flow feel more natural and professional.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'distinctive sectors', 'soared steadily', and 'declining'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'manufactuirng', and occasional awkward phrasing, such as 'To initiate with', which is not standard academic English. While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, incorporating more precise collocations or varied synonyms for 'growth' and 'decline' would elevate the lexical quality. The current range is functional but lacks the sophistication required for the highest bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'manufactuirng employment the rose sharply' (incorrect article/word order) and 'Whereas, healthcare also grew'. The latter is a sentence fragment, as 'Whereas' is a subordinating conjunction that should not start a sentence in this context. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly regarding spacing after punctuation marks. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences and refining punctuation will improve your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.