Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Every year make big changes in world.Its not about tech or evelition its also about jobs of different sectors. Some of them were increased or some of them were decreased. So today we talk about ups and down of jobs in different sectors like Manufacturing,Retail,agriculture,Healthcare.

Manufacturing is one of the biggest job sector in world.In 1960 this sector becaming popular for jobs because the companies and industries was increasing in big numbers.After year 1980 a machine era is started with rapid in cheap price . So industries take work from machines instead of worker and the job sector manufacturing is getting down .

Today, Retail is one of the comman and great sector of income.but its not comman

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, reaching only 118 words. Furthermore, the content is significantly underdeveloped. You have failed to report on all four sectors mentioned in the prompt (Agriculture and Healthcare are mentioned in the introduction but not discussed in the body). The analysis is fragmented and lacks a clear overview of the main trends. To improve, you must ensure all data points are addressed and provide a clear summary of the overall trends, such as the decline of agriculture and the rise of service-based sectors, rather than focusing on anecdotal explanations for the changes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks a logical structure. There is no clear paragraphing, and the transition between the introduction and the body is abrupt. Cohesive devices are largely absent, making the text feel like a collection of isolated sentences rather than a cohesive report. The writing stops mid-sentence at the end, which further disrupts the flow. To improve, you should use clear paragraph breaks for the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, and employ linking words such as 'however', 'in contrast', and 'subsequently' to connect your ideas logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. You rely on simple terms like 'big', 'good', and 'common', which are not appropriate for an academic report. There are also issues with word choice and spelling, such as 'evelition' (evolution) and 'comman' (common). The phrasing is often informal and lacks the precision required for describing data trends. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to graphs, such as 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'surge', and 'proportion', and ensure you use formal, academic language throughout.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

There are frequent grammatical errors that impede the clarity of your writing. Examples include 'Every year make big changes', 'this sector becaming popular', and 'a machine era is started'. Subject-verb agreement and tense usage are inconsistent throughout the text. The sentence structures are simple and lack the complexity expected at higher bands. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that you use the correct tense when describing historical data (past simple for 1960-2020).

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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