Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates proportion of jobs in four different sectors which were manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the United States Of America from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that manufacturing sector experienced upward trend while agriculture sectors represented downward trend however, at the beginning of the chat healthcare sector was least in the chart.
In 1960, terms of manufacturing sectors a number of jobs the highest which was around 15 million while it was decreased after 1980 and reached approximately 13 million. Healthcare sector was least in the chart then surpassed two sectors which were manufacturing and agriculture and same as retail sector and get job around 16 million in 2020.
Furthermore, agriculture sector and retail sector stood with same position but then 1980 the agriculture sector declined and reached almost 2 million jobs in till 2020 but retail sector grew significantly and reached around 16 million jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a summary of the main features, but the accuracy of the data interpretation is inconsistent. For instance, the claim that manufacturing was the highest in 1960 at 15 million is inaccurate based on typical graph trends for this task, and the description of the trends is somewhat confusing. While you identify the key sectors, the comparison between them lacks precision. To improve, ensure you carefully read the data points and use specific figures to support your observations. The overview is present but could be more clearly defined to highlight the most significant shifts over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the phrase 'same as retail sector and get job around 16 million'. The logical progression between sentences is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, making the relationship between the data points unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next, avoiding repetitive structures.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'least in the chart' and 'get job' are informal and imprecise. There is an attempt to use sector-specific terminology, but the word choice often feels limited. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends and data analysis, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you describe the graph more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in 1960, terms of manufacturing sectors'), incorrect verb tenses ('it was decreased'), and awkward sentence construction ('agriculture sector and retail sector stood with same position'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors in basic grammar and syntax prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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