Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the vaccency in the United State for manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare in between 1960 and 2020.
Overall,it is evident that,Manufacutring had the highest number of jobs till 1980 before sharply falling throughout the period,while retail and healthcare had been dramatically increase throughout the period. In contrast to this, agriculture experienced gradual decline between the period.
Looking firstly at manufacturing, it rose to 20 million in 1980 from 15 million at the begining of period before sharply falling to slightly above 15 million in year 2000 and ended up to around 12 million at the end of timeline. Likewise, agriculture also experienced downward momentum with around 6 million jobs in 1960 then reduced to almost half in 1980 and finally settling to almost no jobs in 2020 before 3 million vaccency created in 2000.
Turning into healthcare and retail market, these sectors show promising results of growth with healthcare with jobs less than 5 million at begining rose significantly to 5 million in another 20 years and settling at highest job sectors in 2020 with tremendus growth shown in year 2000 with jobs above 10 million mark. in addition to this, retail market also shows similar growth pattern starting at around 5 million jobs in 19
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
You have identified the main trends for the four sectors, which is a positive start. However, the response is incomplete as it cuts off mid-sentence at the end. Furthermore, there are significant inaccuracies in your data reporting. For example, you state that agriculture settled at 'almost no jobs' in 2020, which contradicts the visual data. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing trend is confusing and mathematically inconsistent. To improve, ensure you carefully verify the figures against the graph and provide a complete summary that covers all categories clearly without abrupt endings.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast to this' and 'Likewise', which is good. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete final paragraph. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the mechanical nature of the transitions could be improved to make the flow more natural. The abrupt ending significantly impacts the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward momentum', 'significantly', and 'tremendous growth'. However, there are frequent spelling errors such as 'vaccency' (vacancy), 'Manufacutring', 'begining', and 'tremendus'. These errors are noticeable and detract from the professional tone required for an Academic Task 1 report. To reach a higher band, focus on accurate spelling and using more precise collocations when describing trends, such as 'a steady decline' rather than 'downward momentum'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is necessary for a higher score. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in United State'), incorrect verb tenses ('had been dramatically increase'), and punctuation issues (missing spaces after commas). Some sentences are also poorly constructed, making them difficult to follow. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits your score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing past data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.