Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The provided graph illustrates how many jobs were in different American industries from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare areas experienced growth throughout the period, becoming the industries where the majority of jobs provided, while manufacturing decreased after twenty-year rise and agriculture was falling for 60 years.
The number of jobs in retail sector started off at the point of around 6 millions and increased steadily to about 16 millions in 2020. The healthcare rose from approximately 2 millions jobs in 1960 to about 16 millions, converging with retail all the period.
As regards manufacturing, it started off as a leader with the majority of jobs provided - about 15 millions on 1960. Then the industry peaked to about 20 millions jobs, which is the highest point till 2020, and fell dramatically to around 13 millions. The agriculture started off at the same point as retail - approximately 6 millions jobs in 1960, but then they started to diverge and the figure of jobs in agriculture went down to the least point at about 2 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the convergence of retail and healthcare and the decline of agriculture. However, the description of manufacturing is slightly inaccurate; you stated it peaked after a 'twenty-year rise' and then fell, but the data shows a more complex trajectory. Additionally, some data points are slightly imprecise (e.g., 'around 6 millions'). To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited with greater precision and that the chronological description of trends is strictly aligned with the visual evidence provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, and you use cohesive devices such as 'Overall,' 'As regards,' and 'Then' to link your points. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. For example, the phrase 'converging with retail all the period' is slightly awkward and could be better connected to the previous sentence. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is easy to follow, which meets the requirements for a solid band 6.5 or 7.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'experienced growth,' 'converging,' 'diverge,' and 'peaked.' However, there are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the least point' (should be 'lowest point') and 'the majority of jobs provided' (which is slightly unnatural). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Incorporating more precise academic collocations would enhance the sophistication of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'how many jobs were in' (should be 'the number of jobs in'), '15 millions on 1960' (should be 'in 1960'), and 'the healthcare rose' (no article needed). While these errors are frequent, they do not cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, focus on article usage and preposition accuracy. Your ability to use complex structures is evident, but they need to be more consistently error-free to achieve a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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