Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture sector are declined however vice versa for retail and healthcare sector which provides same number of jobs by 2020 in the US.

In the year of 1960 15 million jobs were in manufacturing sector making it one of the largest jobs contributor which was reduced to 12 million by 2020. Also health sector with 2 million jobs in 1960 rose up to 15 million till 2020 making it one of the top sectors of the table.

On the other hand, agriculture sector faced a deduction of almost 3 million jobs between 1960 to 2020. The retail sector was sharing same space in number of jobs as the agriculture sector although by 2020 it was the one of the highest job contributing sector with around 15 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, the retail and healthcare sectors do not provide the 'same number of jobs' throughout, but rather converge at the end of the period. Additionally, some data points are imprecise, such as the claim that agriculture faced a 'deduction of almost 3 million jobs,' which does not clearly reflect the visual data. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant trends (e.g., the dramatic growth in healthcare versus the decline in agriculture) more accurately and provides more precise data points from the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'vice versa for retail and healthcare sector' and 'also health sector'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in a more natural, sophisticated way would help elevate the score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. Phrases like 'one of the largest jobs contributor' and 'sharing same space' are slightly unnatural. There is some repetition of basic terms like 'jobs' and 'sector'. To improve, you should aim to use more precise collocations and a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'plummeted', 'surged', 'gradual decline', or 'significant growth'. Avoiding repetitive phrasing and focusing on more academic word choices will help demonstrate a higher level of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the number of jobs... are declined' (subject-verb agreement), 'illustrates about' (unnecessary preposition), and 'it was the one of the highest' (article error). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. Focusing on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and refining complex sentence structures will significantly improve the accuracy and range of your writing.

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