Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The illustration depicts the informative about the proportion of jobs in four various sector of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare sector showed upwards trend whereas the manufacturing and agriculture are showed downward trends and manufacturing was the only sector who had hit the peak.
In the beginning of manufacturing had 15millions jobs as started to rise between 1960 to 1980 reached it's peak which is 20 million jobs. Furthermore manufactured started to decline steady and reached between 15 to 10 million jobs in 2020. Retail had slightly above 5 million jobs and started to rise steadily in 2000 and became slow in its final year .
Agriculture had 5 million jobs in the beginning and started to declined and showed noticeable increment till 2020then again declined in the final year. In the healthcare sector had slightly above 0 million jobs in the beginning year and started to rise slowly till 1980 and steadily to till last and reached above 15 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides an overview of the trends, but the reporting of data is often inaccurate or confusing. For instance, you state that manufacturing reached 20 million jobs, but the graph shows it peaking at 25 million. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is contradictory, mentioning a 'noticeable increment' followed by a decline, which is not supported by the visual data. While you identify the main trends (upward for retail/healthcare, downward for manufacturing/agriculture), the lack of precision in data reporting and the inclusion of inaccurate figures prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure that every figure cited matches the graph exactly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. For example, 'Furthermore manufactured started to decline' is grammatically awkward, and the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt. The logical progression is hindered by the inaccurate data reporting, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends clearly. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'Overall' and 'In the beginning', the overall flow is somewhat disjointed due to the lack of clear referencing and cohesive variety.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'jobs', 'rise', and 'decline'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'informative about' instead of 'information about' and 'various sector' instead of 'various sectors'. The phrase 'slightly above 0 million jobs' is an unnatural way to describe a starting point. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surged', or 'plummeted', and ensure that your word forms are accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'manufacturing and agriculture are showed downward trends' (incorrect passive/active voice) and 'the only sector who had hit the peak' (incorrect relative pronoun). Sentence structures are generally simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'In the beginning of manufacturing had 15millions jobs'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around numbers and units. A greater focus on subject-verb agreement and correct sentence construction is necessary to improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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