Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates jobs that are available in four different sectors of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident the number of jobs available in each sectors significantly followed upward and downward trend during the given time frame. While healthcare which began with the lowest value dramatically rose to become the highest sharing similar spot with retail at the peak, manufacturing and agriculture steadily declined within the period.

Regarding jobs in manufacturing and agricultural sectors, Agricultural reported 15 millions of jobs in 1960 and it rose steadily to 20 millions in 1980 then it dropped to roughly 14 million in 2020. Meanwhile agriculture recorded less than 8 millions in 1960 it declined to an approximate value of 3million maintaining this value until 2000 then dipped slightly to finish at roughly 2.5 million in 2020.

Turning to employment available in retail and healthcare, retail began with similar value with agriculture at less than 8 millions, it substantially rose to 15 millions in 2000 and is peaked around 16 millions in 2020. However, healthcare reported nearly 4 millions in 1960, in 1980 it dramatically surged to 15 millions in 2000 and peaked at roughly 16 millions in 2020 matching an identical value with retail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the rise of healthcare and retail versus the decline of manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, you state that agriculture began at 15 million in 1960, whereas the graph indicates it was manufacturing that started at that level, while agriculture was much lower. Additionally, you confuse the labels for agriculture and manufacturing in the second paragraph. While the overview is clear, these data misinterpretations prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the labels with the corresponding lines on the graph before writing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Regarding', 'Meanwhile', and 'Turning to' to guide the reader. However, the referencing is sometimes confusing due to the data errors mentioned previously. Paragraphing is appropriate, and there is a clear progression of ideas. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring that the transition between sentences is smoother and that the logical connection between the data points is more precise, avoiding repetitive sentence structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'dramatically surged', 'substantially rose', and 'given time frame'. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'sharing similar spot' instead of 'reaching a similar level'. You also occasionally misuse terminology, such as referring to the sectors as 'economy' rather than 'the economy'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire of reporting verbs and comparative adjectives would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'each sectors' (should be 'each sector'), 'is peaked' (should be 'peaked'), and 'matching an identical value with retail' (which is slightly awkward). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences and comma splices, such as in the second paragraph: '...in 1960 and it rose steadily...'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and avoiding unnecessary passive constructions.

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