Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in millions in four different areas of the economy in america from 1960 to 2000.

To begin with Manufacturing it was started in 1960 at 15 millions of job, after that it took a rise and in 1980 jobs were 20 millions. Later then it decreased every year and at the end of time period i the data showed that 12 millions jobs were available. Movingahead with Retail job market, it was started in 1960 with 6 millions jobs and in every two decades it rose. This was followed by Healthcare sector, at the beggining there were 3 millions job and at the end of period in 2020 there were 16 millions jobs in healthcare.

Furthermore, Agriculture sector had an opposite trend it was mostly fell down during time period. first there were 6 millions jobs and after 20 years the figure declined at 4 millions jobs, after that it remains steady till 2000 and in 2020 again it slightly went down.

Overall, It is significant that manufacturing have more jobs in millions at the beggining and on the other hand there are fewer jobs in agriculture sector and in both sectors there is a fall at the end. Additionally retail and healthcare increase the jobs in millions during the whole time period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The student mentions specific figures but fails to make meaningful comparisons between the sectors, such as noting that healthcare overtook manufacturing by the end of the period. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the data, focusing more on listing individual trends rather than highlighting the most significant shifts. To improve, focus on grouping the sectors by their performance (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) to provide a more analytical summary.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Movingahead with' and 'Later then it decreased'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. While there is an overall progression, the logical flow between sentences could be smoother. The use of paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal structure of the paragraphs would benefit from more varied linking words to connect the data points more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several repetitive phrases, such as 'number of jobs in millions' and 'at the end of time period'. Some word choices are slightly awkward, such as 'it was started in 1960' instead of 'the figure stood at' or 'commenced'. There are also minor spelling errors like 'beggining' and 'Movingahead'. To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'surpassed', and avoid repeating the same phrasing for every data point.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing have more jobs'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'it was mostly fell down'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring consistent verb tenses would significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of the writing.

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