Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The provided line graph illustrates information regarding the number of employments in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that the number of jobs in the healthcare and retail sectors experienced the most significant rise, while the manufacturing sector showed a downward trend. Additionally, the agriculture sector witnessed a slight dip and remained relatively stable over the period of 6 decades.

Regarding the healthcare sector, the figure of employments saw a substantial surge between 1960 and 2020, with numbers reaching from around 3 million to approximately 16 million. At the same time, the number of jobs in retail sector showed an upward trajectory, begining from around million in 1960 and reaching a peak of approximately 16 million in 2020.

In contrast, the number of employments in manufacturing sector climbed slightly to 20 million from 15 million between 1960 and 1980. Afterwards, the jobs collapsed significantly from 20 million in 1980 to around 13 million in 2020. Furthermore, there was a dip in the figure of jobs in agriculture sector, with numbers declining from around 6 million in 1960 to approximately 3 million in 1980. Lastly, the employments in the agriculture sector remained relatively stable, with figures hovering around 3 million and ultimately dropping to approximately 2 million from 1980 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response effectively identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have successfully highlighted the significant growth in healthcare and retail, the decline in manufacturing, and the relative stability of agriculture. Key features are supported by data points, such as the rise in healthcare from 3 to 16 million. However, there is a minor inaccuracy in the description of the retail sector, where you mention it 'begining from around million' without a specific figure, which slightly affects the clarity of the reporting. Overall, the response covers all parts of the task well and provides a logical summary of the provided graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'Regarding', 'In contrast', and 'Afterwards' helps to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends. The progression of ideas is clear, and the referencing is generally consistent. To reach a higher band, ensure that all cohesive devices are used with complete precision, as some transitions feel slightly mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information accurately, using terms like 'upward trajectory', 'substantial surge', and 'hovering around'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'number of employments' (employment is generally an uncountable noun in this context) and the missing figure for the retail sector. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching the highest band. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would further enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'with numbers reaching from around 3 million to approximately 16 million'. There is generally good control over grammar and punctuation, though there are occasional slips, such as 'begining' (spelling) and the awkward phrasing 'the figure of employments'. Most sentences are error-free, and the meaning is always clear. To improve, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and refining the use of articles and pluralization, particularly with nouns like 'employment'.

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