Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates information about the the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The numbers give in millions.
Overall, it is clearly seen that both retail and healthcare job market was continuously rising year by year, while agriculture show the opposite trend in job sectors. Manufacturing jobs number was high in first given year after it declined.
To begin with, manufacturing jobs trends high among the US citizens in 1960 with 15 millions. Afterthat, it number was increased by 20 millions in 1980. It demand was declined in last five decades. Healthcare sectors was least popular in the US economy in 1960. It suddenly surged by 15 millions jobs in 2020.
Moreover, in 1960, both retail and agriculture job markets were in same number of jobs with above 5 millions jobs. Retails jobs pattern was increased by 15 millions in 2020, while agriculture jobs declined in last given year. It is around 3 millions of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the data reporting is often inaccurate. For example, you state manufacturing reached 15 million in 1960 and increased by 20 million by 1980, which is not supported by the graph. Additionally, the description of the retail and agriculture starting points is imprecise. While you provide an overview, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that the figures cited directly correspond to the visual data provided and avoid making generalisations that contradict the graph's actual values.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'while', which help guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, 'Afterthat, it number was increased' is grammatically and cohesively weak. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used with greater accuracy would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You use basic terms like 'high', 'increased', and 'declined' repeatedly. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'job market was continuously rising' (a market does not rise, the number of jobs does) and 'It demand was declined'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the range is limited, and the errors in word formation (e.g., 'it number') indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a wider range of descriptive vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'agriculture show the opposite trend'), incorrect article usage (e.g., 'the the number'), and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'The numbers give in millions'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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