Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph demonstrate the information regarding to the number of employment in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the agriculture faced a decline change throughout the period. However, healthcare and retail illustrate the sharp climb in overall given period.
Initially, the healthcare was on the bottom in year 1960. While it sharply climbed in year 1980 then steadily climbed through out the period. In year 2020, it was on the top, 15 million jobs in this field. In contrast, the jobs in agriculture was about 6 million but the time passes the jobs in agriculture declined throughout the period in US between 1960 and 2020.
In the beginning, the jobs in retails was around 7 million but it steadily increased and reached at the top of the given data period. However, the manufacturing job was 15 million in year 1960 it climbed and reached at 20 million in 1980 nevertheless, it got a sharp decline throughout the period and reached at 13 million in year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating healthcare was 'on the bottom' in 1960 is vague, and the description of manufacturing trends is slightly confusing regarding the peak year. To improve, ensure you include specific data points more accurately and avoid generalizations like 'the time passes'. The overview is present but could be more integrated to highlight the most significant contrast between the sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'throughout the period'. Some transitions, like 'In contrast, the jobs in agriculture was', are slightly awkward. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking words and ensure that referencing (e.g., 'it', 'this field') is always clear and unambiguous to improve the flow between sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have an adequate range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'sharp climb', 'steadily increased', and 'decline'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'decline change' instead of 'downward trend' and 'on the bottom' instead of 'at the lowest level'. There are also minor errors in phrasing, such as 'the jobs in retails was'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations for describing graphs and ensure subject-verb agreement when discussing plural nouns like 'jobs'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the line graph demonstrate', 'the healthcare was', 'the jobs in retails was') and article usage. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, pay closer attention to basic grammar rules, specifically ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that articles are used correctly before nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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