Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of people employed in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020

Overall, employment in Manufacturing and Agriculture declined over the period, whereas Retail and Healthcare experienced substantial growth. Healthcare recorded the most dramatic increase, while Manufacturing remained the largest employer until 1980.

Manufacturing employed 15 million people in 1960, rising to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before declining considerably to 13 million by 2020.

Retail employment increased steadily throughout the period, rising from approximately 5 million workers in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.

Agriculture employment fell from 6 million in 1960 to approximately 3 million in 1980, after which it remained stable.

Healthcare experienced the most significant growth, increasing eightfold from 2 million employees in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.

from 1960 to 2020 there is major change in health care and retails where manufacture have small change.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response effectively identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture and the significant growth in Healthcare and Retail. The data is accurately reported, and comparisons are made where relevant, such as noting that Healthcare experienced an eightfold increase. The final sentence is somewhat redundant and adds little value to the summary, but the overall task requirements are well-met. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview is fully integrated into the structure and avoid repetitive summary statements at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively. Cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'while', and 'after which' are used to link ideas smoothly. However, the final sentence lacks a clear connection to the preceding paragraphs and feels tacked on. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends. To improve, ensure that every sentence contributes to the flow of the argument and avoid abrupt shifts in focus at the end of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, including terms like 'substantial growth', 'dramatic increase', and 'remained stable'. There is an attempt to use precise language, which is appropriate for an Academic Task 1. However, there are minor errors, such as the capitalization of 'Retail' and 'Healthcare' in some instances, and the phrasing 'major change in health care and retails where manufacture have small change' is slightly awkward and lacks precision. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would further enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are clear and error-free, which allows for easy communication. However, there are some grammatical slips, such as the missing period after the introductory paragraph, the lack of capitalization at the start of the final sentence, and the subject-verb agreement error in 'where manufacture have small change' (should be 'where manufacturing had'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching the higher band levels where a wider range of error-free complex structures is expected.

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