Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph depicts information about the trade of jobs in four sectors of the accounts in the United State between 1960 and 2020. this data celebrated in numbers.
Overall, It is evident that in line graph has Four types of economy in united state and the jobs was available in millions of number and year was also given in graph.
On One hand, Manufacturing jobs has slightly increase after that the jobs had demnished 1980 to 2020. Moreover, Retail jobs was five million in 1960 afterwards this proffesion was increase rapidly in 2020.
On the other hand, Agriculture is also in five million profession in 1960 during 1980 between 2020 this jobs had been reduce quickly likewise, healthcare jobs like doctors or nurses profession is stuck on
34
Zero following that was grown time to time persuing 1980 to 2020 as fifteen million occupation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is superficial and lacks the necessary detail to fully address the task. The overview provided is vague and does not clearly highlight the most significant trends or contrasts. Furthermore, the description of the data is inconsistent; for example, stating that healthcare jobs were 'stuck on zero' is inaccurate based on standard graph interpretation. To improve, ensure you provide a clear, concise overview of the main features and support your descriptions with accurate data points from the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inappropriate, such as the awkward transition 'On One hand' and 'On the other hand' which are better suited for discursive essays rather than data description. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between sectors. To improve, focus on using transition signals that specifically relate to trends and comparisons, such as 'in contrast,' 'meanwhile,' or 'subsequently,' and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and contains several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'trade of jobs', 'accounts', 'demnished', and 'proffesion'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of the message. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to use precise terminology related to trends, such as 'increase' or 'decrease'. To improve, practice using a wider variety of verbs and adverbs to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'plummeted,' or 'steadily declined,' and ensure you check your spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There is a limited range of grammatical structures, and the response contains frequent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement ('jobs was available', 'Manufacturing jobs has slightly increase') and tense usage ('this jobs had been reduce'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, and sentence construction is often fragmented or awkward. These errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, focus on mastering simple sentence structures before attempting more complex ones, and pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing past trends.
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