Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given line graph illustrates how the percentage of occupations changes in four major sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare showed the largest figure over the period. Whereas, manufacturing showed a peak in 1980 before falling steadily. And following that agriculture also decresed moderately over the period.

Retail and healthcare are seen to increase moderately from the begining and ended at the same point at 2020 which was about 16 millions. In 1960 the numbers were approximately 2 millions for healthcare and around 6 millions for retail. But in 2000 healthcare reached at around 11 millons

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully address the task. While you have identified some main features, such as the trends for retail and healthcare, the analysis is incomplete. You have not provided a comprehensive overview of all four sectors, and the data reporting is fragmented. To improve, ensure you cover all categories presented in the graph and provide a more detailed comparison of the trends over the entire 60-year period. The current length prevents a fully developed response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the progression of ideas is limited by the brevity of the text. Cohesive devices are used sparingly, such as 'Whereas' and 'And following that', but the connection between sentences is sometimes mechanical. The transition between the overview and the specific data points is abrupt. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words to connect your observations and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, helping the reader follow your analysis more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You use basic terms like 'showed the largest figure' and 'increased moderately'. There are also some spelling errors, such as 'decresed' and 'begining', and minor collocation issues like 'reached at'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable', and ensure careful proofreading to avoid simple spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'the percentage of occupations changes' (should be 'changed') and 'reached at around 11 millons' (should be 'reached approximately 11 million'). Subject-verb agreement and pluralisation errors are present. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses or passive voice, and pay closer attention to verb tenses, ensuring they are consistent throughout the report.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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