Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The linear representation illustrates the details of the counts of jobs in four sectors of the economy, named as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US between the period 1960 and 2020.
In the sector of Manufacturing, the number of jobs was 15 million which then inclined to 20 million in 1980. Then it began declining and reached to 13 million during 2020. In case of retail sector, there was a significant increase in the counts of jobs. The number of jobs was 5 million in 1960 which rosed to 10 and 15 million in 1980 and 2000. In 2020, the number of jobs accounted for 16 million in retail sector.
Moving further, the numbers of jobs in agriculture sector has been plunged over the period. The number was 6 million during the year 1960, it reached to 4 million and remained the same till 2000 and further decreased to 3 million in 2020. In case of healthcare sector, the number of jobs was considerably less which accounts for 3 million and reached 5 million in 1980. The jobs during the year 2000 and 2020 was 15 million and 16 million respectively.
Overall, the highest counts of jobs were in manufacturing sector in the year 1980 and smallest number of jobs were in healthcare sector in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture, and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview could be more analytical; instead of just stating the highest and lowest points, it would be better to highlight the overall shift in the economy from traditional sectors like manufacturing and agriculture toward service-oriented sectors like healthcare and retail. The data is generally accurate, though ensure you clearly distinguish between the trends over the entire period rather than just listing figures for each decade.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with each sector or group of sectors receiving its own focus. The progression of ideas is clear, and you use some cohesive devices like 'Moving further' and 'In case of' to link your points. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. The use of referencing could be improved to avoid repeating 'the number of jobs' so frequently. Overall, the structure is sound and the information is easy to follow, which meets the requirements for a band 6.5 or 7.0 level of organization.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'linear representation', 'inclined', 'declining', and 'plunged'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'counts of jobs' is unnatural; 'number of jobs' or 'employment figures' would be better. Additionally, 'rosed' is incorrect; the past tense of 'rise' is 'rose'. While you attempt to use a variety of verbs to describe trends, some of these choices are slightly imprecise, which limits the score to a 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'rosed' instead of 'rose', 'the numbers of jobs... has been plunged' (passive voice error), and 'the jobs during the year 2000 and 2020 was' (subject-verb agreement error). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede the reader's understanding of the data. To reach a higher band, focus on consistent subject-verb agreement and correct verb tense usage when describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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