Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the availability of jobs in four economical US sectors between 1960 and 2020.
The depiction shows number of jobs in millions. Manufacturing sector was providing highest jobs in 1960 which later sharply decreased. Retail and Healthcare departments showed a significant surge over the period.
In 1960, Manufacturing sector was at top, providing 15 million jobs. Subsequently, it rose to 20 million in 1980. A constant drop recorded, and fell to approximately 17 million in 2000 and to 14 million in 2020.
Retail and Agriculture both departments took initiative from 6 million job in 1960. In 1980, a substantial growth showed in retail sector, 10 million in 1980, 15 million in 2000 and 17 in 2020. Whereas, agriculture sector represented a rapid fall to 3 million in 1980 which remained constant until 2000. A slight decrease showed in 2020. Healthcare sector started from the lowest mere 2 million jobs in 1960. Afterwards a tremendous rise showed, increased to 5 million jobs in 1980, 12 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is somewhat weak; while it mentions trends, it lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes. The data reporting is generally accurate, though there are minor inconsistencies in the figures cited (e.g., the manufacturing peak in 1980 is not clearly supported by the graph). To reach a higher band, ensure the overview highlights the most striking differences between the sectors rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Subsequently', 'Whereas', and 'Afterwards', which help the flow of information. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of ideas is generally clear, allowing the reader to follow the trends described without difficulty. Further variety in linking phrases would enhance the overall cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some good attempts at topic-specific language like 'significant surge', 'substantial growth', and 'tremendous rise'. However, there are some awkward word choices, such as 'economical US sectors' (should be 'economic') and 'took initiative from' (which is not a standard collocation for describing data). The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but more precise academic vocabulary would elevate the response. Spelling is generally accurate, but the phrasing occasionally lacks naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'Manufacturing sector was at top') and verb forms (e.g., 'A constant drop recorded' instead of 'was recorded'). Some sentences are slightly fragmented or lack necessary prepositions. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
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