Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the about employment opportunities in 4 sector economy of United States for 60 years. Total 4 types of categories has been mentioned.
Overall, there was agriculture value reported decline in the 2020 by 0 to 5 million, whereas manufacturing is at peak by 15 to 20 million,
Initially, retail has reported little strike in the year 2000 from 5 to 15 million. On the other hand, it gradually increases from 1960 to 2000.
The trend peaked at 16 million over last 60 years. There is sharp decline is reported for manufacturing firstly it rise after touching 20 million comes between 10 and 15 in 1980 year.
Lastly, Healthcare is constantly increasing at regular intervals over the last duration ranging from 0 to 15 million. Both the value retail and healthcare intercept in 2020 with common value 15 million. For value retail and agriculture, it keeps on moving upward and other got down in 2020 respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the four sectors, but the information provided is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, stating that agriculture declined from '0 to 5 million' is contradictory, and the description of manufacturing trends is difficult to follow. The overview is weak and fails to clearly highlight the most significant trends, such as the long-term decline in agriculture versus the growth in healthcare. The data interpretation is inconsistent, making it hard for the reader to grasp the main features of the graph. To improve, focus on identifying clear trends (e.g., 'steady increase', 'sharp decline') and ensure the data points cited align accurately with the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by unclear referencing and awkward transitions. Phrases like 'Initially, retail has reported little strike' and 'For value retail and agriculture, it keeps on moving upward' are confusing and do not effectively link ideas. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes misused, which hinders the flow of information. To improve, use clearer signposting words (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', 'Subsequently') and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to build a coherent argument about the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly, which impacts the clarity of the report. Terms like 'little strike' and 'intercept' are not appropriate for describing statistical trends. There is also significant repetition of basic structures and vocabulary, such as 'value' and 'reported'. While the response attempts to describe the data, the lack of precise terminology for trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', 'surpassed') limits the score. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary and focusing on accurate collocations for describing graphs will significantly improve your ability to convey information precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Total 4 types of categories has been mentioned'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'There is sharp decline is reported'). The range of structures is limited, relying mostly on simple sentences that lack the complexity required for higher bands. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and practicing the use of complex sentences to describe trends more fluidly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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