Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The linear graph represent the number of jobs in sectors of the economy in the US given period of 1960 and 2020. The given jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

To commenc with, it is noticeable that first of all the manufacturing jobs provide at 15 millions and 20 millions in the 1980, before falling to around 16.5 millions in 2000 and 12.5 millions in 2020. Moreover, retail started at 6 millions jobs and increased in 1980 to 2020 at 10 millions to 15.5 millions. However, in the agriculture jobs started at 6 millions and after that decreased and stable in 1980 to 2020 at 2.5 millions to 1.5 millions. On the other hand, the healthcare jobs provide at 2 millions in 1960 and later on grow up in 1980 to 2020 at 5 millions to 15.5 millions.

Overall, it becomes apparent that manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at the beginning of the period, but it declined after reaching a peakn in 1980.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the start, middle, and end of the period. However, the overview is weak; it only mentions manufacturing and fails to highlight the significant trends across all sectors, such as the growth in healthcare versus the decline in agriculture. The data reporting is sometimes confusing, such as stating manufacturing was 15 and 20 million in 1980, which is unclear. To improve, ensure the overview synthesizes the main trends rather than just repeating specific data points, and ensure the comparison between sectors is more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive feature. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To commenc with, it is noticeable that first of all'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly when jumping between sectors. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four categories. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would help the flow of the response significantly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic verbs like 'provide', 'started', and 'increased'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs provide at' instead of 'the number of jobs stood at' or 'jobs reached'. The spelling error 'peakn' also detracts from the quality. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'surpassed', and ensure that nouns and verbs are used in appropriate collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response relies on simple sentence structures and contains frequent grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The linear graph represent'), incorrect preposition usage ('in 1980 to 2020'), and awkward phrasing ('jobs provide at 15 millions'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's flow. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions when describing numerical data.

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