Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The linear representation illustrates the details of the counts of jobs in four sectors of the economy, named as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US between the period 1960 and 2020.
In the manufacturing sector, the number of jobs was 15 million which then increased to 20 million in 1980. Then it began declining and reached to 13 million during 2020. In case of the retail sector, there was a significant increase in the count of jobs. The number of jobs were 5 million in 1960 which rise to 10 and 15 million in 1980 and 2000. In 2020, the number of jobs accounts for 16 million in the retail sector.
Moving further, the number of jobs in the agriculture sector plunged over the period. The number was 6 million during the year 1960, it reached to 4 million and remained the same till 2000 and further decreased to 3 million in 2020. In case of the healthcare sector, the number of jobs was considerably less which accounts for 3 million and reached 5 million in 1980. The jobs during the year 2000 and 2020 was 15 million and 16 million respectively.
Overall, the highest counts of jobs were in the manufacturing sector in the year 1980 and smallest number of jobs were in the healthcare sector in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the years mentioned. However, the overview is weak. While you mention the highest and lowest points, you fail to identify the most significant trends, such as the overall growth in the retail and healthcare sectors versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The summary lacks a clear synthesis of the data, which is essential for a high band score. To improve, ensure your overview highlights the most striking trends rather than just listing isolated data points at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized with a clear paragraph structure. Each paragraph focuses on specific sectors, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moving further' and 'In case of', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between the data points could be smoother. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the relationship between the data points is more explicitly stated rather than just listing figures.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'linear representation', 'plunged', and 'declining'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'the number of jobs accounts for 3 million' (should be 'amounted to' or 'stood at') and 'the number of jobs were' (subject-verb agreement error). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Focus on using more accurate reporting verbs and noun phrases related to data trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'the number of jobs were' should be 'was', and 'it reached to 4 million' is incorrect (the verb 'reach' does not take 'to'). Additionally, there are issues with tense consistency and article usage. While these errors do not prevent communication, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of prepositions with verbs of movement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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