Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph shows variations about the number of jobs in four sectors of the ecomony in the US between the years 1960 and 2020.
The number of jobs for manufacturing was highest starting from 15 millions in 1960 and it steadily increased over the years reachinng peak in 1980 at 20 million jobs.Over the following years, a negative trend can be seen with little over 10 million jobs in 2020.
The number of jobs in retail and agriculture sector both started at approximately 6 million jobs in 1960. Though in the following years, the number of jobs increased in retail whereas it decreased, almost touching the bottom for agriculture.
The number of jobs in agriculture sector in 2020 is almostt similar to the number in the healthcare sector, both at approximately 2 million. The number of. jobs inn healthcare sector is the least in 1960, but it shows a positive trend over the years, and reaches a little over 15 million, which collides with jobs in retail in 2020.
In a nutshell, the number of jobs were highest in manufacturing sector in 1960 but decreased over the years. Agriculture sector has always seen a negative slope.The number of jobs increased significantly in the healthcare sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the rise of healthcare and the decline of manufacturing. However, the overview is somewhat weak; while it is present in the final paragraph, it lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes. The data reporting is generally accurate, though some figures are slightly imprecise (e.g., stating manufacturing started at 15 million when the graph shows a lower starting point). To improve, ensure the overview highlights the most striking differences between the start and end points more clearly, and be more precise when reading data points from the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with each focusing on specific sectors. There is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the concluding summary. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'The number of jobs' is used at the start of almost every sentence). To reach a higher band, you should vary your sentence starters and use a wider range of linking words and referencing (e.g., 'this figure', 'the former', 'the latter') to connect ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to describe trends like 'negative trend', 'positive trend', and 'increased significantly'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'ecomony', 'reachinng', 'almostt', and 'inn'. Additionally, the phrase 'collides with' is an inappropriate collocation for describing data trends; 'converges with' or 'reaches a similar level to' would be more accurate. To improve, focus on proofreading for spelling slips and expanding your range of verbs and adjectives to describe data movement more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'the number of jobs were' (should be 'was'), 'in agriculture sector' (missing 'the'), and 'number of. jobs inn' (incorrect punctuation and spelling). These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles ('the') when referring to specific sectors or categories.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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