Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the employment figures in four different industries and how much they contribute in the US economy between 1960 and 2020. The four industries are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. All jobs are in millions.
Overall, manufacturing is accounted for highest number of contribution is the economy, whereas agriculture had the lowest number of jobs by 2020. Moreover, healthcare experienced a sharp increase in employment at the period of 1980s.
In 1960, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs and 15 million people was worked in that industry and there is 5 million growth in 1980. However, manufacturing industry drastically declined till 2020 around at 13 million. On the other hand, retail and agriculture both employees are above 5 million and there is rose in retail industries till 2020 reached at above 15 million but agriculture graph fall drastically till 2020 reached around 2million as healthcare industry started at this number in 1960 but it was sharply increased till 2020 above 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that manufacturing accounted for the highest number of jobs by 2020 is incorrect based on the data provided, where retail and healthcare both surpass it. The description of the trends is generally clear, but the lack of precision in reporting specific data points (e.g., 'around at 13 million') limits the effectiveness of the summary. To improve, ensure that the overview reflects the final state of the graph accurately and use more precise data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into three paragraphs, which is a standard structure for Task 1. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the overview and then the detailed body paragraph. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For example, the final paragraph is a long, run-on sentence that lacks clear internal transitions, making it difficult to follow the comparisons between the four sectors. Using more varied linking words and breaking down complex comparisons into shorter, clearer sentences would significantly improve the flow and readability of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'manufacturing is accounted for highest number of contribution' and 'there is rose in retail industries'. These errors in collocation and word choice occasionally hinder the clarity of the message. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations (e.g., 'witnessed a significant increase' instead of 'sharply increased') and ensure that verbs and nouns are used in their correct forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of the report. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('15 million people was worked') and incorrect tense usage ('manufacturing is accounted for'). Additionally, the final paragraph suffers from poor sentence structure, with multiple clauses joined incorrectly, leading to confusion. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and sentence boundary punctuation is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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