Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given figure is a line graph that illustrates the data about the number of jobs in the four economic sectors in the United States during the period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, a great fluctuation was observed only in the manufacturing sector from the beginning to the end. Moreover, the retail and the healthcare sectors had the same number of jobs while, the agricultural sector faced a continuous decline towards the end.

The retail sector and the agricultural sector provided around 16 million jobs at the end of 2020 but the former had almost 6 million jobs at the start of 1950, while the latter had only 2 million jobs at the beginning of 1950.

agricultural sectors sector ha

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Furthermore, the content is incomplete; the description of the data is fragmented and ends abruptly with an unfinished sentence. While you identified some main features, such as the trends in the manufacturing and agricultural sectors, the analysis is underdeveloped. You missed key data points and failed to provide a comprehensive overview of all four sectors. To improve, ensure you complete the task by covering all categories shown in the graph and provide a more detailed comparison of the trends over the entire 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph, which is a good start. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. Cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'while' are used, but the overall flow is disrupted by the abrupt ending and the lack of a concluding summary or a fully developed body. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the final sentence is a repetitive fragment that lacks logical connection to the rest of the paragraph. Focus on ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are linked smoothly throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally functional but limited. You successfully used terms like 'illustrates', 'fluctuation', and 'economic sectors', which are appropriate for an Academic Task 1. However, there is repetition of basic structures and phrases such as 'number of jobs' and 'at the beginning of'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'witnessed a steady decline', 'remained relatively stable', or 'experienced a significant surge'. The vocabulary is sufficient for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While some sentences are grammatically correct, there are issues with punctuation and clarity, such as the comma usage in 'while, the agricultural sector'. The final sentence is incomplete, which is a major grammatical error. There are also inconsistencies in data reporting, such as referencing '1950' when the graph clearly starts in 1960. To improve, focus on proofreading for accuracy and ensuring that all sentences are complete and correctly punctuated. Practice using a wider variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses or participial phrases, to enhance your grammatical range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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