Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph below shows the data of number of jobs in four various sectors in U.S.A between year 1960 to 2020. The data is given in millions
To begin with, in year 1960 manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs, with 15 million jobs and by the year 1980 this figure jumped at 20 millions. On the other hand, retail and agriculture sector both had about 6 million jobs in year 1960. However, by the year 1980 retail sector jobs got almost double to 10 million jobs and jobs in agriculture sector falls at 4 million in the same time period. Consequently, in the same time period jobs in health sector rose to 5 million jobs by the year 1980.
Furthermore, in next 40 years jobs in agriculture sector experienced a decline and dropped at 13 million jobs by the year 2020. BUT, there was an gradual increase in jobs in retail and healthcare sector and these both sector workforce crossed the mark of 15 million jobs by the year 2020 in U.S.A. Agriculture sector had a similar story to manufacturing sector as its workforce decreased constantly and reached its lowest of 3 million by the year 2020.
Overall, it is clear that jobs in healthcare and retail sector increased constantly and reached a peak in 2020. Conversely, other 2 sectors experienced a downfall in creating jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the agriculture sector dropped to 13 million by 2020, whereas the graph shows a much lower figure. Additionally, you mention that the manufacturing sector workforce decreased constantly, but the graph shows a rise until 1980 before the decline. While you provide an overview, the factual errors regarding the data points hinder the accuracy of the summary. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the visual data provided to avoid misrepresenting the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'Conversely' to link ideas. However, the use of 'BUT' in capital letters is informal and inappropriate for an academic task. Additionally, the transition between the description of the 1960-1980 period and the subsequent years is somewhat abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring a more formal tone throughout will help improve the flow and logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sector', 'workforce', 'decline', and 'downfall'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs got almost double' (should be 'doubled') and 'jobs in agriculture sector falls' (should be 'fell'). The repetition of 'jobs' throughout the text makes the writing feel somewhat mechanical. To reach a higher band, try to use more precise synonyms and ensure correct word forms, such as using 'experienced a decline' instead of 'falls'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in year 1960', 'in retail and agriculture sector') and verb tenses ('jobs in agriculture sector falls'). Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent, such as 'these both sector workforce crossed'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the overall clarity. Focusing on article usage and maintaining consistent past tense when describing historical data will significantly improve your grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.