Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, employment increased in the retail and healthcare sectors, and it declined in agriculture sector, while manufacturing shows increasing trend but after reaching 1980 it reduced to less than 15 millions.
in 1960, manufacturing and healthcare sectors seen major increase in the employment number. After 1980 manufacturing started declining rapidly. On the other hand, healthcare section increased rapidly till 2020.
Number of jobs in retail section also showed the same trend as healthcare sector by increasing in number from 1960 to 2020. The agriculture sector is the one which countinuosly showed a downward trend through out the years.
In conclusion we can see that only retail and healthcare sector increased sharply in employment number, while the lowest one in job number is agriculture sector which did not show any increase overall. The manufacturing sector showed rising trend in earlier years than it gradually decreased after 1980.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that manufacturing shows an 'increasing trend' is misleading given the significant decline after 1980. Furthermore, the data reporting is somewhat imprecise, such as the claim that manufacturing and healthcare saw a 'major increase' in 1960, which is not clearly supported by the graph's starting points. To improve, ensure that the overview captures the most significant long-term shifts rather than just listing individual trends, and be more precise when describing the magnitude of changes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, overview, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'the lowest one in job number is agriculture sector', which lacks smooth integration. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to avoid repetitive structures.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends like 'downward trend', 'declining rapidly', and 'increased sharply'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'countinuosly' (spelling error) and 'healthcare section' (should be 'sector'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying on basic descriptors. To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more precise synonyms for trends and avoid repeating the same terms throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing and healthcare sectors seen major increase' (missing auxiliary verb) and 'than it gradually decreased' (should be 'then'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in article usage and verb tense consistency. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of time-related adverbs would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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