Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare has peaked the job market sustainable in 2020. Whereas agriculture and manufacturing has significant decline in job sector over the years.

On the first hand , retail has approximately over 5 million jobs in 1960 which gradually kept rising over the years and is the highest of one in 2020 with approximately 15 million jobs. However the jobs in healthcare which had the lowest of all took hike from approximately 1 million jobs in 1960 to 15 million jobs in 2020.

On the other hand , the jobs in agriculture has approximately 5 million jobs in 1960 which kept gradually decreasing ad has 1-2 million jobs in 2020. In addition, the manufacturing job which had the highest jobs which is 15 million in1960 increased to 20 million in 1980 but from then it has been gradually declining and has approximately 11 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that retail and healthcare 'peaked' in 2020 is a misinterpretation of the data, as the graph shows a continuous upward trend rather than a peak followed by a decline. Additionally, some data points are imprecise, such as claiming manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980 when the graph shows it closer to 18-19 million. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data reporting and the slight misinterpretation of the trends limit the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the first hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In addition'. However, some of these are used incorrectly or mechanically; 'On the first hand' is not a standard English idiom, and the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt. Paragraphing is present, but the flow between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall progression of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'gradually kept rising', 'significant decline'). However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'the highest of one', 'took hike', and 'job sector'. The range is somewhat limited, relying on repetitive phrasing to describe changes. To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'a steady increase'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement issues are common, such as 'retail and healthcare has peaked' (should be 'have') and 'the jobs in agriculture has' (should be 'have'). There are also errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'in four sector' and 'the highest jobs'. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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