Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs people used to do in the US between the year 1960 to 2020 in four different significant economic sectors such as, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.
From the graph it can be seen that manufacturing sector was the highest to provide jobs in 1960 about 15 millions in job market which also had a markedly rise of 5 millions later in 1980, having the most jobs in counts in all range of the year [redacted phone]. While the agricultural sector offered jobs of about 6 millions in the beginning if 1960, it had a significant fall in 1980 and since then the numbers of jobs plateaued in that sector.
Although jobs in retail sectors started at the same number as agriculture, the number of jobs dramatically escalated from 1960 to 2020 at approximately 15 millions. Healthcare on the other hand started at the lowest with about 2-3 millions in job market, it steadily increased in 1980 and then had a rapid escalation from 1980 to 2020 being the highest with a approximate value 16 millions, as same as in retail sectors.
Although jobs in manufacturing sector peaked in the year 1960 to 1980, it considerably started declining from 1980 to 2020 which no fluctuation. Similarly, agricultural sector was also highest in the starting but job demand in that sector decreased over the years with the least jobs in 2020 being at about 1.5 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. However, there are inaccuracies in data reporting that affect the quality of the summary. For instance, the text states manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960, but the graph shows it closer to 17-18 million. Additionally, the claim that manufacturing had 'no fluctuation' from 1980 to 2020 is incorrect, as the graph shows a clear downward trend. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. The overview is present but could be more clearly integrated to highlight the most significant shifts.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each focusing on specific sectors or trends. Cohesive devices such as 'While', 'Although', 'Similarly', and 'on the other hand' are used to connect ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'having the most jobs in counts in all range of the year'. Referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. The use of linking words is sometimes mechanical, but it successfully guides the reader through the comparison of the four sectors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts at topic-specific language like 'economic sectors', 'plateaued', 'dramatically escalated', and 'job market'. However, there are several instances of unnatural collocation and word choice errors, such as 'jobs people used to do', 'jobs in counts', and 'as same as in retail sectors'. These errors do not impede communication, but they demonstrate a limited range of sophisticated vocabulary. To improve, the student should focus on more precise collocations related to data trends and economic terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing sector was the highest to provide jobs... which also had a markedly rise'. There are frequent errors in articles ('the manufacturing sector'), prepositions ('in 1960' vs 'at 1960'), and verb forms ('had a markedly rise'). Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout the response, and the punctuation is generally functional.
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