Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs available in four various sectors which contributed in the economy including Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is reported that there gradual increased in the demand for agriculture and retail jobs and reached to peak level. However, The constant decline noticed for healthcare sector throughout the given period of time.

To start with Manufacturing sector, there was a sharp incline trend in 1960 to 1980, which was around 20 millions jobs, however there was constant decreased in jobs for 40 years and reached to it's lowest level at 13 millions. Furthermore, Retail and Agriculture is the sectors which provided maximum job by the end of given period, as, in 1980, both sectors were at bottom level at 5 million and 3 million respectively.

From 1980 to 2020, The line graph of Retail and Agriculture rose steadily and reached to top level which was 16 million for both sectors.It can be observed that the trend for Healthcare sector was declined for 20 year, which was around 3 million in 1980 and remained stable for next 40 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the healthcare sector experienced a constant decline, whereas the graph shows it remaining relatively stable or increasing slightly. Additionally, the claim that retail and agriculture were at the 'bottom level' in 1980 is inaccurate based on the visual data. While you identify the main trends, the misinterpretation of the figures prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the specific data points provided in the graph to avoid factual errors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused, such as the transition 'To start with Manufacturing sector'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. While the overall structure is logical, the progression of ideas could be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would help improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'contributed', and 'steadily'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'sharp incline trend' instead of 'sharp upward trend' and 'reached to peak level' instead of 'reached a peak'. Some vocabulary is repetitive, and there are minor errors in word formation. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that your word choices are natural and appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in US'), incorrect verb forms ('there gradual increased'), and punctuation issues. Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent, such as 'Retail and Agriculture is the sectors'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that articles are used correctly before nouns.

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