Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

this graph illustrate the number of jobs in four sectors economy in the US through [redacted phone] which tell us how these four job sector growth and declination

overall, in the manufacturing sector growth maximum went then decline it started 15 million job position and went maxim 20 million then declining to below 15 million

retails and agriculture job market started with 5 million but retails market boomed and went there maximum and capture the market maximum near to 15 million but on other hand agriculture started with 5 million but as he started then declining through the period at some point the year of 1980 the crashed the market

moreover the healthcare sector in which initially started to 3 million and suddenly grow every decade and some year they up maximum

in the four sect job the maximum and growing job market was healthcare which grow continuously increasing job in market

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, but the analysis is superficial and lacks precision. While you identify the four sectors, the description of trends is often vague (e.g., 'went maximum', 'some year they up maximum'). You fail to provide specific data points or clear comparisons between the sectors, which is essential for Task 1. The overview is present but lacks clarity, and the information is not well-selected to highlight the most significant trends. To improve, focus on identifying clear starting and ending points and describing the overall trajectory of each sector more accurately using precise terminology.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often inaccurate (e.g., 'on other hand', 'moreover'). The transition between sentences is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. The referencing is also unclear; for instance, 'as he started' is used to refer to the agriculture sector, which is grammatically and logically incorrect. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects logically to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You rely on basic words like 'growth', 'decline', and 'market' throughout the text. There are significant issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'growth maximum went', 'capture the market maximum', and 'crashed the market'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your message. To reach a higher band, you need to use more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this graph illustrate'), tense consistency (e.g., 'which tell us'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'in the four sect job the maximum and growing job market was healthcare'). Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the simple sentences used often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and pluralization, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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