Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the employment in millions in four section of the economy in the US, between years 1960 and 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare sectors seen increasing trend throughout the period. The manufacturing sector rose initially then declined after 1980, and agriculture sector showed the downward trend over the period.
First of all, if we talk about the manufacturing sector, the employment rose from 15 million to 20 million in year 1960 to 1980, after 1980 it declined to less than 15 million. On the other hand, retail and healthcare sector had 5 million and 2 million job rate respectively in year 1960 and after that they increased gradually and reached to the 12 million employment rate. While the agriculture sector had 6 million jobs in the year 1960 and showed declining trend over the period and had the 2 million employment rate in year 2020.
In conclusion, all the four sectors seen fluctuations over the period. Some rose in job number like retail and healthcare sectors, while manufacturing sector rose then declined after 1980 and agriculture sector did not go through major change in employment rate.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For example, the statement that the agriculture sector 'did not go through major change' in the conclusion contradicts the data, which shows a clear decline from 6 million to 2 million. Additionally, some data points are imprecise, such as stating retail and healthcare reached 12 million when the graph shows different values for each. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed and that the summary reflects the actual trends shown in the graph rather than generalising incorrectly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, overview, body, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'While', and 'In conclusion' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by varying the sentence structure rather than relying on repetitive patterns like 'the [sector] sector [verb]'. Overall, the organisation is sufficient to guide the reader through the information provided.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You frequently use basic verbs like 'rose', 'declined', and 'increased'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'job rate' instead of 'employment figures' or 'number of jobs', and 'four section' instead of 'four sectors'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant downturn'. The current range is sufficient to convey the main points but does not demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as missing articles ('the manufacturing sector', 'the agriculture sector'), subject-verb agreement issues ('retail and healthcare sectors seen', 'all the four sectors seen'), and awkward phrasing ('in year 1960 to 1980'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focusing on consistent use of articles and correct verb tenses will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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