Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The Line graph tracks the market in 1960 to 2020 and tells the information about the amount of jobs in four sectors in the US.
Overall in terms of employment, manufacturing topped the chart, whereas Agriculture was ranked the least during given time period.
By analyzing the chart, it can be observed that in 1960 and 1980, the top seat was notched by manufacturing with 15 and 20 millions workers, followed by retail and agriculture with 6 millions jobs respectively in 1960. However, in 1980 retail has 10 millions jobs and agriculture considered to be lowest with 4 millions of occupation. Moreover, in 1960 healthcare has 2 millions workers followed by 5 millions jobs in 1980.
Getting into further details, the data in 2000 the manufacturing topped with 16 millions jobs and in 2020 it declined with 13 millions jobs. Nevertheless, retail has 15 millions of worker in 2000 in addition healthcare has 11 millions jobs. in 2020 retail and healthcare considered to be same with 16 millions jobs. Afterwards agriculture in 2000 and 2020 considered to be same with 4 millions and 3 millions respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and the time period provided. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, listing figures rather than identifying significant trends or making meaningful comparisons. For instance, the report mentions specific numbers for 1960 and 1980 but fails to synthesize the overall trajectory of the sectors effectively. The overview is present but lacks depth, as it merely states which sector was highest and lowest without highlighting the notable shifts, such as the convergence of retail and healthcare or the decline in manufacturing. To improve, focus on grouping data points to show trends rather than listing them chronologically.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive or slightly unnatural, such as 'Getting into further details' and 'Afterwards'. The progression of ideas is logical, but the connection between sentences could be smoother. Some referencing is slightly unclear, particularly when discussing the data for 2000 and 2020, where the flow between the sectors becomes a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. Phrases like 'top seat was notched by' and 'considered to be same' are slightly awkward or informal in an academic context. There is some repetition of basic verbs like 'has' and 'topped'. To achieve a higher score, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend', rather than relying on simple descriptive structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs'), '15 and 20 millions workers' (should be 'million'), and 'retail and healthcare considered to be same' (missing 'the'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing capital letters at the start of sentences. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and pluralisation rules to improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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