Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph shows us the number of jobs available in four sectors of US economy across years between 1960 and 2020. The four main sectors include Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

The most number of vacancies were in Manufacturing sector from 1960 to 2000 before it started declining. Moreover, the job availability in Healthcare sector rose steadily over these years resulting in increase of employability in Healthcare domain.

The most declining and unpopular pillar of economy is Agriculture sector, as the jobs started diminishing in these years constantly. All sectors were affected in 2020 except Retail and Healthcare due to Covid-19 virus due to demand of people increased during those times being equal at approximately 16 million vacancies.

The most demand of people in Manufacturing sector was in year 1960 being 20 million people, due to Globalization and concepts like mass production which required more workers in this domain.

At the end, we can conclude by stating that the most successful and sectors with the best employability rate are Healthcare and Retail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, such as the trends in Manufacturing and Agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You mention specific years like 1960 and 2000, but the description of the trends lacks precision. For instance, stating 'the most number of vacancies' is vague. Furthermore, you introduce external information (e.g., 'due to Globalization and concepts like mass production') which is not present in the graph and should be avoided in Task 1. To improve, focus strictly on the data provided and use specific figures to support your observations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'At the end, we can conclude'. The logical progression between sentences is sometimes disjointed; for example, the jump from discussing the Agriculture sector to the impact of Covid-19 feels abrupt. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') would help improve the flow and connectivity of your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate but limited. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'number of jobs' and 'vacancies'. There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'most declining and unpopular pillar' and 'employability rate', which do not accurately describe the data trends. To reach a higher band, try to use more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'plummeted', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stable', and avoid informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'The most number of vacancies' (should be 'The highest number'), 'due to Covid-19 virus due to demand' (repetitive and awkward), and 'in year 1960' (missing article). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are noticeable and occur throughout the text. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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