Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given task is in the form of line graph showcasing the data of the financial system between 1960 to 2020 about the amount of jobs in four sectors.

Overall, in terms of sectors, manufacturing topped the chart, whereas agriculture was ranked the least during given time span.

By analyzing the graph, it can be observed that in 1960, 1980 and 2000, the top chart was notched by manufacturing with 15, 20 and 17 million occupation. Furthermore, in 2020 it had 13 million jobs. Afterwards, agriculture had 6 million positions in 1960 , nevertheless in 1980 and 2000 it remain constant with 3 million employment. Along with, 1 million drop happened in 2020.

Getting into further details, the data for healthcare had 2 million jobs in 1960. On the contrary, in 1980, 2000 and 2020 the data inclined rapidly with 5, 11 and 16 million workers. In addition, retail jobs drastically rise in year 1960 ,2000 and 2020 with 10,15 and 16 million jobs and in 1960 it was lowest with 6 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response provides a general overview and identifies key trends for the four sectors. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the description of manufacturing trends is somewhat confusing, and the retail data is presented in a way that misrepresents the timeline. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in data reporting and the failure to make meaningful comparisons between sectors limits the score. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed from the graph and that the relationship between sectors is highlighted more clearly throughout the report.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Along with, 1 million drop happened' and 'Getting into further details'. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, making the flow feel disjointed. While there is a clear attempt to group information by sector, the transitions between sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher level of coherence. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the text flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are instances of awkward word choices, such as 'notched by' and 'inclined rapidly', which do not fit the context of describing economic data. Additionally, there are some repetitive structures. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations for describing trends, such as 'experienced a significant increase' or 'remained stable', and ensure that terminology related to graphs and statistics is used accurately to convey information more professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'retail jobs drastically rise'), missing articles, and awkward prepositional usage (e.g., 'in the form of line graph'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these errors are persistent throughout the text. To reach a higher band, focus on subject-verb agreement, consistent tense usage when describing historical data, and refining sentence structure to ensure that complex ideas are expressed without grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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