Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given graph illustrates the four different types of job sectors in the economy of America from 1960 to 2020. In other words, number of jobs were available in different sectors.
Begin with 1960, there were 15 million jobs were a occupied by the manufacturing sector. Furthermore, more than 5 million for retail and agriculture and in last approximately 2 million jobs were occupied by healthcare and that was the least then any other sectors. However, in 1980 there was an upward trend for every sector rather then agriculture. There was a deduction in jobs for agriculture from 5 million to approximately 3.8 million.
After two decades, agriculture sector remains almost same as previous years, but on the other side there was a marginal decrease in manufacturing sector and for retail and healthcare sectors they were growing rapidly with 5 million and almost 6 million more jobs contribution for the economy. Further more, in 2020 the number of jobs decrease more in manufacturing and agriculture, however agriculture and retail sectors were on there peaks with almost more then 15 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies. For example, you state that agriculture and retail were at their 'peaks' in 2020 with 15 million jobs, which misinterprets the data trends. Additionally, the description of the sectors is somewhat confusing, particularly the claim that agriculture remained 'almost same' while also noting a deduction. To improve, ensure you clearly identify the overall trends (e.g., the decline of manufacturing vs. the rise of healthcare) and support these with accurate data points. The overview is missing, which is a critical requirement for Task 1.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by confusing transitions and unclear referencing. Phrases like 'in last' and 'rather then' (instead of 'rather than') disrupt the flow. While you attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore' and 'However', they are sometimes used incorrectly or in a way that makes the relationship between ideas unclear. The paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a clear focus, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison of the four sectors over time.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic phrasing. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'deduction' (instead of 'decline' or 'decrease') and 'contribution for the economy' (instead of 'contribution to'). You also struggle with collocations, such as 'occupied by the manufacturing sector' and 'at their peaks'. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable', and work on using words in their correct grammatical context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'number of jobs were available' (subject-verb agreement), 'there were 15 million jobs were a occupied' (double verb usage), and 'on there peaks' (incorrect homophone 'there' instead of 'their'). While you attempt some complex sentence structures, they are often marred by errors in tense and word order. You need to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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