Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the proportion of jobs in four sectors in the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the Retail and Healthcare sectors increased significantly over the time. While the Retail and Agriculture sectors experienced the fluctuations throughout the period.

Employment opportunities in Manufacturing were highest among all sectors in 1960, later increased to 20 million by 1980, then continuously fell to below 20 million in 2000 and stood at just under 15 million by 2020. Similarly, the proportion of Agriculture declined from around 6 million to just below 5 million jobs in 1980, numbers remained constant between 1980 and 2000, later fluctuated slightly by 2020.

On the Contrast, the Retail figure substantially rose from approximately 5 million to 10 million jobs in 1980 and continuously rosed to 15 million by 2000, peaked at just under 20 million.A similar pattern was observed for Healthcare, whose proportion

grew from roughly 2 million to 5 million by 1980, afterwards jumped to just above 10 million in 2000 and reached a peak of just under 20 million over the next two decades. It is clear that Reatil and Healthcare stood at same point by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture and the growth in Retail and Healthcare. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that Manufacturing 'increased to 20 million by 1980', whereas the graph shows it peaking earlier and declining by 1980. Additionally, the overview is slightly confusing; you mention Retail and Healthcare increased, but then state 'Retail and Agriculture sectors experienced the fluctuations', which is contradictory as Agriculture remained relatively stable. To improve, ensure your data points are precisely aligned with the graph and that your overview clearly distinguishes between the main trends (growth vs. decline).

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Similarly', 'On the Contrast', and 'afterwards'. However, some transitions are used incorrectly or awkwardly, such as 'On the Contrast' (should be 'In contrast') and the sentence structure in the second paragraph is slightly disjointed. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensuring that the logical flow between sentences is smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'fluctuations', and 'employment opportunities'. However, there are several errors in word choice and form, such as 'rosed' (the past tense of rise is 'rose') and 'Reatil' (spelling error). The phrase 'stood at same point' is also slightly unnatural. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the inaccuracies in word formation and spelling prevent a higher score. Focus on mastering the past tense forms of irregular verbs and proofreading for minor spelling slips to improve your lexical precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'Retail and Healthcare sectors increased significantly over the time' (should be 'over time') and 'the proportion of Agriculture declined' (the graph shows the number of jobs, not the proportion). The sentence 'Retail and Healthcare stood at same point' is missing an article. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band. You should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that your verb tenses are consistent when describing past data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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