Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph reveals data regarding employment opportunities in four various type of major sectors in US between 1960 and 2020. According to the line graph, there is different type of trend is observed among the sectors during given period of time in US. Two segments among four are seen rising in number of jobs while other two seen flactuations in last 60 years.

In detail, graph is representing the amout of work created in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Healthcare seen consistantly providing more work opportunities and line is constantly rising starting with approximately 2.5 million in 1960 and trending at 15 million in 2020. Similarly, manufacturing department showing similar pattern like a healthcare but gross increase in jobs are slightly lower than healthcare. In contrast, agriculture work openings are slowly declined by time possibly due to agricultural advancements. However, manufacturing sector depicts flactuations in job roles provided between 1960 and 2020 as between 1960 and 1980, opportunities increased but after 1980 it kept falling due to manufacturing technological revolutions reduced manpower.

In summary, healthcare is sector that is mainstream for job career and handed more work for people in US while retail is doing the same. On other hand, production and farming reduced presumebly due to scientific evolution.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as contrasting the growth in healthcare with the decline in agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in your interpretation of the graph; for instance, you mention manufacturing shows fluctuations, but the graph provided (based on standard interpretations of such tasks) shows a clear downward trend after a peak, and your description of the retail sector is somewhat vague. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data points are more precise and that your summary of trends is strictly supported by the visual evidence provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In detail', 'Similarly', and 'In contrast' to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'manufacturing department showing similar pattern like a healthcare', which lacks a smooth transition. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'employment opportunities', 'fluctuations', and 'technological revolutions'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'four various type of major sectors' (should be 'four major sectors') and 'handed more work' (which is not standard collocation). Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'flactuations' and 'consistantly'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure correct spelling of key terms related to data description.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in US' instead of 'in the US'), subject-verb agreement ('Healthcare seen consistantly'), and preposition usage. Some sentences are clunky, such as 'there is different type of trend is observed', which contains redundant verbs. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for article usage and verb forms will help you achieve a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.