Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph illustrates the changes of percentage in four major sectors of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, healthcare and retail showed upward trend over the period. Whereas manufacturing started with highest figure and reached a peak before falling its lowest point. Agriculture showed minimal figures over the time.
Although healthcare employment was the lowest from all other sectors with around 2 million in 1960 but it showed gradual upward trend. From 1980 it increased sharply and reached the highest employment at the end with right up 15 million. Following that retail also climbed up gradually. And in 2000 it moderately reached its highest percentage with 15 millionand tie with healthcare.
Manufacturing, on the other hand , climbed sharply at its peak and then fall and reached around 13 million in 2020. Agriculture showed slighest decreased over the period. Although it started with 5 million but ended with 2 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in healthcare and retail alongside the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing reached a peak before falling to its lowest point, but the data shows it remained relatively high compared to agriculture. Additionally, the claim that healthcare was the lowest in 1960 is contradicted by the graph, which shows agriculture starting at a lower point. While the main features are selected, the lack of precision in describing the data points hinders the overall achievement of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Following that', and 'on the other hand' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'And in 2000 it moderately reached its highest percentage with 15 millionand tie with healthcare' lacks smooth integration. Referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas could be more sophisticated to ensure a smoother reading experience throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. You use basic descriptors like 'upward trend', 'highest figure', and 'minimal figures'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'slighest decreased' instead of 'slightest decrease' and 'right up 15 million'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'a marginal decline', and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the changes of percentage in four major sectors... in US' (missing articles), 'falling its lowest point' (missing preposition), and '15 millionand tie' (spacing and tense error). While the meaning is generally conveyed, the frequency of these errors—particularly with articles, prepositions, and verb tenses—prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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