Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph demonstrates the amount of works in four areas of the economic in the United States of America from 1960 to 2020. The data has been celebrated into millions .

overall,it is crystal clear that the each area of economy shows fluctuaion the manufacturing and agriculture sector represtent the decline with time whereas retail and healthcare present surge with time and having same amount of number in the job.

In 1960 there are large amount of jobs in the manufacturing sector which was 15 million that climb to 20 in 1980 which was more than double of other number of jobs in that year. The number of jobs dropped to less then 15 millions in 2020. The agriculture part had little more than 5million jobs in1960 which decline in the next few years and reached approximately 2 or 3 million jobs in 2020.

In 1960 the retail jobs are more then 5 million which climbed in next few years to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000.The number also increased little bit upto 2020 roughly 16 million. However the healthcare jobs increased from 5 million less in 1960 to more than 15 million in 2020 which was the highest addition in the number of jobs compared to other sectors. Both retail and healthcare had same quantity of jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. You successfully highlight the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For example, you mention that manufacturing 'climb to 20 in 1980' but do not provide enough comparative analysis between the sectors throughout the period. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated. To improve, ensure you clearly contrast the starting and ending points for all categories and highlight the most significant shifts, such as the point where healthcare overtook manufacturing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'overall,it is crystal clear' is informal and lacks proper punctuation. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'that climb' or 'the number also increased'. While the progression of ideas is generally logical, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of transition signals and ensuring consistent paragraph structure would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuation', 'decline', and 'surge'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and incorrect terminology, such as 'amount of works' instead of 'number of jobs', 'economic' instead of 'economy', and 'celebrated' instead of 'calibrated'. These errors occasionally distract the reader. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure you are using the correct parts of speech. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic descriptors for trends would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail jobs are more then'), incorrect prepositions, and punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors like verb tense consistency and article usage to ensure your sentences are more accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.