Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates information about the amount of jobs in four sectors in the economy of US- Manufacturing, Retail, Agricultural and Healthcare), from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare sectors showed a gradual increase in jobs. On the other hand, manufacturing and agriculture jobs experienced a decrease in number.

In 1960, the number of manufacturing works accounted for about 15 millions. It peaked to 20 million in the year 1980. After that it started to fall steadily, which was approximately 13 millions until 2020.

The retail jobs were at around 6 millions in the year 1960. It rose to 10 million in 1980, and climed to 15 millions in 2000. From 2000 to 2020 it remained approximately around 16 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Furthermore, the task is only partially addressed as the student completely omits the data for the 'Agricultural' and 'Healthcare' sectors, despite mentioning them in the introduction. A successful response must report on all categories provided in the graph. While the overview identifies general trends, the lack of data for two sectors and the insufficient length prevent a higher band score. To improve, ensure all data points are covered and expand on the analysis by making more detailed comparisons between the sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs for specific sectors. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'On the other hand', and 'After that' helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the cohesion is somewhat mechanical, and the omission of data for two of the four sectors disrupts the logical flow of the report. To improve, ensure that the transition between paragraphs is smoother and that all information presented in the introduction is fully developed in the subsequent body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'accounted for', 'peaked', and 'steadily' used correctly. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and pluralization, such as 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'manufacturing works' (should be 'manufacturing jobs'). The vocabulary is generally repetitive and lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms for describing trends and avoid basic errors in noun usage.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect pluralization, such as '15 millions' (should be '15 million') and 'climed' (spelling error). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the overall quality. To improve, focus on proofreading for common errors like pluralization of numbers and verb tense consistency, and aim to incorporate more varied complex sentence structures to demonstrate greater grammatical control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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