Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The Line graph illustrates the number of jobs in different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Firstly, in the 1960 manufacturing was the largest employment sector at 15 million. Retail and agriculture were the same in the year 1960 at around 6 million. While in the healthcare people was working less only 3 million. In the year, 1980 manufacturing jobs increased at 20 million, but agriculture jobs decreased at 3.
On the other hand, in the retail sectors jobs continually increased in every year in 1980 it was 10 million and in the year 2000 it increased around 15 million. However, Agriculture jobs started decreased in the year 1960 to 1980 at 3 million.
Overall, healthcare and retail increased steadily as compared to other jobs, but agriculture flatulated in some years but remain same in the year of 1980 to 2000. But manufacturing start decreased in year of 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the four sectors and their trends over the period. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision in reporting figures. For instance, stating that agriculture 'flatulated' (likely meaning fluctuated) or remained the same between 1980 and 2000 is not fully supported by the data trends. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated to highlight the most significant shifts, such as the decline of manufacturing versus the growth of healthcare. Some data points are mentioned, but the comparison between sectors is underdeveloped, preventing a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Firstly' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the connection between the sectors and the timeframes is confusing. The progression of ideas is present but lacks the sophistication required for a higher band, as the transition between the specific data points and the overall summary is somewhat abrupt.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher levels. There are several instances of awkward word choices or incorrect terminology, such as 'people was working less' instead of 'fewer people were employed' and 'flatulated' instead of 'fluctuated'. The repetition of basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' limits the lexical variety. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precise collocations and the presence of word-choice errors suggest a limited range that is just sufficient for the task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing start decreased') and awkward phrasing ('in the year 1960 to 1980 at 3 million'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the reader can understand the intended meaning, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. More attention to verb tenses and prepositional phrases is needed to improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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