Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given bar graph illustrates about the count of jobs in United states economy in different sectors between [redacted phone]. Jobs count was displayed in millions on Y-axis and Years on X-axis.

Overall, the graph display number of jobs in four different secotors like manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare. Here, manufacture has highest number of jobs between [redacted phone] whereas, Agriculture sector started with good count in 1960 later jobs were felldown in which it is at least in jobs.

At first, From1960, under manufacturing sector morethan 15 million people were worked. Since it increased to 20 millions in 1980 but falling of jobs continues between [redacted phone] with 16 million and 13 million respectively. Secondly, retails sector was started with more than 5 million jobs in 1960 which is all-time low in this sector. Later, it gradually increased after 1960 to 2022 and reached to morethan 15 million which is huge number of jobs for retail sector.

Moreover, healthcare almost same as retail sector, in which increased from 3 million to morethan 15 million in count of jobs between 1960 to 2020.

Lastly, Agriculture has the least count of jobs in which people showed less intrest in this field. So it started with 6 million job profiles in the year 1960. Afterall it decreased to lessthan 5 million in follwing years till year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, stating that manufacturing had the highest number of jobs throughout the entire period is questionable given the trends shown in the graph, and the description of the retail sector's growth is slightly imprecise. To reach a higher band, you should focus on selecting more representative data points to support your comparisons and ensure that your overview clearly highlights the most significant shifts rather than just listing individual sector trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'At first,' 'Secondly,' and 'Afterall,' which do not always logically connect the ideas. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas within paragraphs feels disjointed. To improve, you should use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data analysis.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'jobs count was displayed,' 'felldown,' and 'less intrest.' The repetition of basic terms like 'number of jobs' and 'count' limits the sophistication of the response. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and precise collocations related to economic data, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stagnant,' or 'experienced a downward trend.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'people were worked'), subject-verb agreement errors, and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and spacing. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency would be highly beneficial.

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